Self-Defense is Found in the Simple Things

At Barnes Martial Arts, we teach self-defense -- but not like other Martial Arts studios. We teach that self-defense -- real self-defense, genuine self-defense -- transcends the physical; it is more than knowing how to kick or punch, or wrestle someone on the ground. Yes, we teach our students -- adults and children -- how to physically, effectively protect themselves from dangerous people and situations. What kind of school would we be if we did not? But we also teach that when it comes to safety, escape is nearly always the first, best choice; fighting is a last resort. Using verbal techniques and body language to reduce or deescalate incidences of potential violence is another area we address.

 Since "self-defense" forms the greatest part of our curriculum, we have an inherent responsibility to our students, their families, our community, and to our own integrity to ensure their protection in any area of their lives. 

If all one knows is mayhem and physical violence, they may be a "fighter" (and I harbor personal doubts even about that), but they are not a Martial Artist. Real Martial Arts balances the efforts of the body, with practices of the mind and heart. Just as important, therefore, we teach that self-defense is found in the simplest of things.

Fitness may be the ultimate self-defense for the body. Unfortunately it may also be the most overlooked. Martial Arts can be part of an overall healthy lifestyle; but ... you can take the most effective, deadly, infallible, butt-kicking art on the planet ( is there such a thing?) and put in to hands of an obese, out-of-shape, unfit, can-barely-move individual and it becomes virtually useless. Like a high-performance or luxury car, the human body requires a continuous supply of high-quality fuel (see Good Food, below) and oxygen to keep running at maximum efficiency. If you put in cheap, low-grade fuel, there is a good chance both will become sluggish or break down. The difference is if the car breaks down you can get a new one ... the only body you will ever have is the one you were born with, so it benefits you to defend it properly. Like the red lights on your car's dashboard, pay attention to the signals your body is sending -- pain, weakness, fever, nausea, etc. A little preventative maintenance can save, and is preferable to, a ton of after-care. At Barnes Martial Arts we suggest regular exercise -- a minimum of 30 minutes/day, 3 days/week (Martial Arts are great exercise .. hint, hint); get plenty of sleep; eat healthy -- avoid sugar, excessive alcohol, fried and highly processed foods; and drink plenty of fresh, clean water. Just as taking care of your automobile can ensure that it runs in top condition for many years and hundreds of thousands of miles, smartly keeping your body fit leads to a longer, more pleasant, productive life. 

Kindness, for example; kindness is a beautiful form of self-defense. Kindness, without expectation of reward, payment or even personal benefit, is self-defense for the heart and soul. It is our studio philosophy that if we want a kinder world, we must all be an active part of the solution. It is not enough to "talk the talk", we must "walk the walk". Accordingly, we instruct students to take our lessons "Out of the Dojo, Into the World".

Good food --and the appreciation of it; there’s a fine, fine kind of self-defense. Our Western diet -- highly processed, full of artificial flavors, colors and preservatives, and high in sodium, fat and calories -- is killing us. We lead the world in chronic obesity, diabetes and heart disease. Therefore, clean healthy eating, mindfulness of what goes into our bodies, and an emphasis on fresh, wholesome vegetables, fruits and lean protein, will do as much -- perhaps more -- to protect us from harm than knowing how to punch someone in the face.

Oh, and how about love of community? Participation in --and love for --one’s community is a kind of self-defense that’s impossible to put a value on. Why? Because we're all in this Life together and only for a relatively short time. Two of the definitions of community are: (A) "a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals", and (B) "a group of interdependent organisms of different species growing or living together in a specified habitat". By getting along, seeking out similarities and establishing common ground, by promoting peace and harmony, and helping one another, instead of constantly being at loggerheads because of perceived differences, we benefit ourselves and future generations. 

And my favorite kind of self-defense, by far, is found in a simple rule, The Golden Rule: "Treat others as you would want them to treat you." The reasons why this is important should be obvious.

Simple. And simply perfect.

At Barnes Martial Arts, we like Tom Callos’ (www.tomcallos.com) description of self-defense too: “Self-defense isn’t only about personal protection, it’s about taking care of the people around you and the place you live as well.”

And of course, self-defense training at our Studio is all you already imagined it to be, but with this particular attitude about it, self-defense becomes about living a good life. What a great idea.

For information about our school and self-defense lessons for today’s world, check us out on Facebook (here), contact us at barnesmartialarts@yahoo.com or give us a shout at (570) 332-4377. (CREDIT: This post was inspired by and adapted from the writings of my mentor, Tom Callos, of the100.me (here) and the Ultimate Black Belt Test (here). Thank you, Tom, for your wisdom, insight, and continuing guidance.).

Not Everyone Gets a Trophy ... or a Black Belt

"I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best … cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better … not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy." -- James Harrison, linebacker, Pittsburgh Steelers, social media post, August 15, 2015

     Somehow, somewhere along the line in what -- I would like to believe -- was a probably sincere but ultimately misguided effort to protect the supposedly fragile self-esteem of our children, our culture went off the rails to ensure that they not only never lose, but also never feel the sting of disappointment.

     I first personally awakened to this lamentable trend years ago while competing in regional karate tournaments. In fact, it is one of the reasons I retired from, and withdrew my studio from competing. In these tournaments, every participant would receive a trophy, regardless of their level of performance. At the time, I was primarily focused on my own performance and did not think much of it and, therefore, said nothing. Later, when I had students of my own entered into competition, the idea didn't sit well with me. Of course, the promoter referred to these smaller trophies as "participation trophies" but the implication was clear -- "there are no losers here; everyone is a winner."

     I am sorry, but that just isn't life. I get why the promoters did it -- no one enjoys losing, or seeing kids lose, or dealing with the subsequent tears and disappointment. But those excuses don't make it right; they foster a sense of entitlement and a narcissistic belief that the world owes you something "just because". As harsh as it sounds, in life there are winners and losers; life owes us precisely nothing. 

     It was not until I attended another tournament -- one in which I was officiating but not competing -- that I realized just how ludicrous the situation had become. Unlike the first tournament, where the "participation trophies" were noticeably smaller than those of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd-place winners, these were nearly all uniform in size, separated by mere fractions of an inch.

     What in the world was going on here? As if nearly equal-sized trophies alone were not enough to boggle the mind, what I experienced next left me positively reeling. In the pre-competition officials' meeting it was revealed by the promoter that they had had some "unpleasant experiences" in years past with a few younger competitors who "noticed the difference" in size of their trophies ("participation trophies", mind you) versus those of the winners. So, in order to "minimize negative feelings", they minimized the size differences. 
     I, for one, thought this was patently ridiculous and this time I voiced my opinion. 
     Astoundingly to me, as it turned out, I was in the minority. Judging by the number of nodding heads, the overwhelming majority of ring judges and event officials -- all experienced Black Belts and school owners -- were in agreement. 
     I could only shake my head, mystified.

     This attitude is not, by any means, restricted to the Martial Arts. A quick Google search reveals that the practice goes on in soccer, football, baseball, and dance and gymnastics. T-ball, basketball, volleyball and lacrosse are a few other sports in which the Powers-That-Be have indulged their participants. 
     In caving to pressure exerted by certain coddled players and their petulant parents, some schools have gone so far as to eliminate keeping score in sports for certain age groups.

     If there is no score, why bother competing? In fact, if one does not keep score there is no competition -- there is only exhibition; there is no real test of skill. Who puts forth their best, prolonged effort just to show off? 

     It isn't only sports and physical disciplines, either. In one article, an elementary school gave out "Honor Student" awards alphabetically, but that wasn't good enough for one parent who complained that his daughter's last name assured that she would always go last, and that "was hardly fair".
     Another article detailed how two Kansas school districts refuse to allow any student to score lower than a "C", ensuring that no one ever fails.
     One study, published in the Teacher's College Record, indicated that a staggering 86% of private college students get nothing lower than a "B". 

     The list goes on. 
     And on. 

   

     Is this what we have become as a society? As a culture? Have we become such monumental cry-babies that no one is allowed to excel if we can't? Must everything be equal? Why bother learning problem-solving skills, if there are never to be obstacles to begin with?

     Life isn't "equal". 
     Life isn't "fair". 
     Nor, in my estimation, is it meant to be. Both qualities are human constructs, by the way -- Life itself is neither "fair/unfair" or "equal/unequal"; Life just ... is. 

     The sooner we abandon political correctness and acclimate ourselves to Life's inherent "inequality" and "unfairness", the better off we -- and our kids -- will be. 
     The truth is: when everybody wins, nobody wins. When everyone wins a trophy it diminishes the efforts of those who truly work to excel. 
     More and more it appears we wish to avoid allowing our kids to fall down, to learn from the pain of scraped knees or bad grades or -- oh no!! -- losing. 

     This shouldn't happen, especially in Martial Arts, the whole history of which has always been predicated upon individual effort.

In martial Arts, though we often engage with training partners, no one puts forth your effort but you; no one reaps the benefit of your skill development but you.

     At Barnes Martial Arts, belts are earned, not given. We will never promote a student to any Belt, let alone Black Belt, who has not done the requisite work,

put forth the necessary effort. No one gets a Black Belt just because they "showed up".

     Life doesn't work that way. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you lose more often than you win even if you are good at something. Babe Ruth, by way of example, the New York Yankee who once held the record for the most career home runs, also held the record for most strike outs at bat. 

     Losing is good for you. 
     So is failing. 
     They teach you to deal with disappointment. Overcoming loss and failure allows you to develop a sense of humility; it sharpens your resolve. Strength and resilience are built through adversity. If one never loses, how are they going to learn to come back from that, and try again?

     The real questions, though, aren't whether we are winners or losers, but have we improved since yesterday? Are we still moving forward? That is real winning.

     In conclusion, I leave you with two quotes; the first is from a man I greatly admire; the second is from one of my favorite movies.“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in 2 ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength” – H.H. Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.” 
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

   

       

Five Reasons Why Martial Arts Is the Best Fitness Program for Adults

As adults, most of us can readily identify the components of a healthy lifestyle and list the factors that contribute to wellness, health and peace-of-mind. We know that being fit entails good sleep habits, maintaining a wholesome diet and engaging in an active lifestyle. We know this because it has been hammered into our minds through the media on a near-daily basis. 

So why then, if we know the answers, do so many Americans continue to neglect their wellbeing? Why is obesity an epidemic in this country? Why are heart disease ... cancer ... diabetes ... and other diet-related diseases so rampant?

Obesity ... the most pressing health issue of our time

Every day, while struggling with knowing what is right to do for our bodies we encounter a variety of hurdles and obstacles ... work, school, kids, family obligations, bills to pay, community involvement, etc. We live increasingly stressful and time-crunched lives. It is difficult to “wind down” and get enough sleep when we are always on-the-go, when we always have some place we have to be. Diet-wise, how often have we sacrificed nutrition for convenience because we were too tired or too busy to cook? And, instead of engaging in beneficial physical activities, we find ourselves spending what little leisure time we have in front of a computer or TV screen.

In short, we understand what it takes to be healthy ... but we don’t always rise to the challenge of doing what’s necessary in order to achieve and maintain maximum health.

Here are just some of the proven benefits fitness has to offer:

• Better sleep     • Better concentration     • Improved emotional health     • Improved heart health     • Improved self-image     • Stronger immune system     • Greater strength and flexibility     • Healthier weight

Take a look at how fitness affects some of the maladies that plague adults:

Heart disease is one of the most prevalent killers in our society today. Not only does regular exercise help to prevent heart problems, but a lifestyle that lacks physical activity is an added risk factor. Regular exercise alone lowers blood pressure and helps control cholesterol levels. Staying active also decreases abdominal fat which has been proven to be another risk factor of heart disease. It has been repeatedly demonstrated that people who exercise regularly after their first heart attack live longer than those who do not.

Studies have shown that Asthma attacks are at least partially preventable with regular exercise. Activities that require long periods of exertion are often not tolerated well by asthmatics; but, daily aerobic exercise can actually help an asthmatic to develop stronger lungs as well as increased lung capacity, thereby decreasing the frequency of attacks.

Osteoporosis – Resistance training helps to guard against osteoporosis. And it does not matter if you use free weights or your own body weight. Individuals who have been sedentary their whole life have a far greater chance of developing bone density issues. With the resistance and weight bearing that occurs during exercise, however, bones not only maintain, but may actually increase, their strength.

Healthy weight – Proper diet combined with exercise is the key to reaching and maintaining a healthy weight. You didn’t gain weight by taking a pill, and, there is no magic pill that is going to make you lose excess weight -- and keep it off – for the long term. Despite near-continuous ads on television and in magazines touting the latest fad diets or trendy herbal fat-burning miracle supplement, exercise is the only way to burn calories and ensure that your body’s natural regulatory eating signals are working as they should.

The bottom line is that physical activity is great for you. In fact, Time Magazine (A to Z Health Guide, 2004) called exercise: "one of the closest things to a magic bullet that modern health care has to offer."

So, while any type of strenuous physical activity – lifting weights, Pilates, yoga, swimming, running, hiking, biking, etc. -- will improve your health and well being, some types are better than others.

Let’s look at why a lot of physiologists and psychologists view Martial Arts as one of the best types of exercise you can get.

First, we need to dispel the myth that Martial Arts classes are just for kids. According to the Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association, among others, more than one-third of Martial Arts students are adults. The reality is that Martial Arts are great for adults of all ages -- 20-somethings as well as more ... “seasoned” individuals. I have personally known and coached people who did not even start training until their 50s and 60s; they were able to lose weight, develop strength, increase stamina, improve joint health and reap all of the same benefits as someone younger. The key is in adapting the training to each individual in order to realize maximum results. 

Furthermore, the style of Martial Art is less important than the effort and consistency with which you train. Whether you train in taekwondo, karate, jujitsu, aikido or some other form, the benefits remain the same.

Here are the 5 reasons why martial arts is the best fitness program for adults:

• Total body workout: Martial Arts are a combination aerobic/strength workout that use every muscle group in the body. Your stamina, muscle tone, flexibility, balance and strength will all improve through regular training.

• Stress relief: Martial Arts allow you to kick, punch, grapple and scream, which is a great stress release no matter what your age. Whether practicing with a partner, solo drilling, or hitting targets or a heavy bag, the physical exertion of Martial Arts demands your complete focus, and that doesn't leave much room for worrying about other things. Furthermore, exhausting your body through a demanding physical regimen often leaves your mind less rigid as well. 

• Reach and maintain your healthy weight: Due to the total-body workout of a Martial Arts session, tons of calories are burned. However, you’ll also find that your natural eating signals become better regulated so food cravings will diminish or disappear and you’ll eat less as a result.

• Learn self-defense skills: Unlike any other form of exercise, with Martial Arts you learn potentially life-saving self-defense skills at the same time you are getting in shape.

• Improved self confidence: Due to the goal setting, positive encouragement, respect, and core values that are inherent in nearly all Martial Arts programs, one of the greatest benefits of training is increased self confidence. Knowing that you can handle yourself calmly, rationally, and effectively in a potentially violent situation promotes a quiet inner strength. You become more at ease in various situations – whether you’re in danger or simply doing a task that takes you beyond your comfort zone -- and you’ll discover you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Here is a BONUS Reason why Martial Arts is the BEST Form of Exercise for Adults

         Martial Arts train the mind as well as the body – The meditation and internal reflection that are intrinsic parts of many types of Martial Arts training have a huge impact on both mental and physical well-being. These practices, when done regularly, help to center us, combat stress, better handle chaotic situations, and have actually been shown to increase the gray matter in our brain. Check out these articles for more information (this is but a small sampling of the research and data – there are literally thousands of links and reports):

·  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-benefits-of-meditation-that-you-might-not-know-about.html

·  http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2008/05/100-benefits-of-meditation/

·  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/272833.php

·  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/19/meditation-benefits_n_5842870.html

·  http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858

·  http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/meditation-heals-body-and-mind

·  http://foodmatters.tv/articles-1/7-health-benefits-of-meditation

·  https://nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm

So, those are the top five reasons (plus a pretty nifty bonus) why Martial Arts is the best fitness program for adults.

Martial Arts aren’t for everybody -- but it might be right for you.

To learn more about the Martial Arts we teach and determine if it's the right physical activity for you, please call us at (570) 332-4377 or email us at barnesmartialarts@yahoo.com.

We'll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

10,000 Acts of Kindness

“Kindness. One of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return.” -- Unknown Author

"Be Kind whenever possible. It is always possible." H.H., Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

     Almost two years ago to the day I wrote an article for this blog titled, "So You Say You Want a Revolution", in which I described our Studio's intention to start a Kindness Revolution. 

     I concluded that article with a quote by poet Maya Angelou, "People may not remember the things you say, or even the things you do, but they will always remember the way you made them feel."

     At Barnes Martial Arts, we understand that if self-defense is truly "protecting ourselves from anything that would cause us harm", then Kindness is self-defense. 

     As a result, we feel that it our calling to radically redefine the concept of self-defense in the minds of the public to include Acts of Kindness. To that end, we have consistently required students to perform a minimum of 5 Acts of Kindness for Stripe and Belt Tests. As a member of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, we have undertaken monthly Kindness Missions -- some suggested by the Foundation, others of our own creation. 

     There is great power in Kindness. It changes lives, and it costs nothing to be a decent, compassionate human being. 

     With that in mind, we are announcing our most ambitious Kindness Mission ever: 10,000 Acts of Kindness. 

     Here is how it works: Beginning today, we are requiring each student -- adults as well as kids -- to do a minimum of 3 Acts of Kindness per day. Write down WHAT you did; WHEN you did it; and for WHOM you did it. Example: "I bought coffee and a sandwich for a homeless person on Tuesday, March 1st." When you have written down 25 Acts of Kindness, turn them in to Master Barnes and start on your next 25!

     It is literally THAT simple. We will keep all of the Acts of Kindness sheets in a large folder and in 6 months, in September, we will tally them up. 

Never underestimate the power of a single act of Kindness

     Our goal is, obviously, 10,000 Acts of Kindness, but if we ALL take part there is no reason why we cannot substantially exceed that goal!

     Let's look at some numbers in order to see just how easy it would be to achieve this goal:

     Say we only have 10 students. If each student performs 3 Acts of Kindness each day, that is 30 Acts of Kindness per day ... 30 x 7 days/week = 210 Acts of Kindness per week ... 210 x 4 weeks/month = 840 Acts of Kindness per month ... 840 x 6 months = 5,040 Acts of Kindness in half a year. 

     That's just with 10 students!! Pretty amazing, right!!

     Now watch what happens when all 40 of our students participate: 40 students x 3 Acts of Kindness per day = 120/day ... 840/week ... 3,360/month ... and ... WAIT FOR IT ...

     ... 20,160 Acts of Kindness in just 6 months!!!

     That is over double our goal!!

     Together, we can do this. We can leave a lasting, positive change on our communities and the world.

     Maybe others will be inspired by our example to "pay it forward." Maybe our Studio will be the center of a movement that ripples outward, one nice act building on another and another. 

    Think about it: we turn on the television or radio, and all we see is violence; on the Nightly News we are witness to story after story of famine, disease, war, poverty, crime, corruption and man's inhumanity to man (and other living creatures). 

     I'm tired of hearing and seeing all of that negativity, aren't you? 

     What if, instead, we all made a concerted effort to be nice to one another?  To actually, genuinely care about our fellow man -- not just SAY it, but ACT on it? What kind of world would it be if we ... all held open doors for one another? ... Let the person with just a few items go ahead of us and our overflowing shopping cart at the grocery store? ... Rescued pets from the SPCA and taught our children how to care for them? ... Made a real effort to say "Please" and "Thank you"? ... Shoveled a neighbor's driveway in the Winter? ... Or raked their leaves in the Fall? ... Or mowed their lawn in the Summer? ... Helped a co-worker with a project? ... Volunteered in a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? ... Bought a sandwich for a homeless person? ... Stopped to chat with a complete stranger? ... Read a book to an elderly person at an assisted living facility? ... Helped someone carry groceries to their car? ... Took a minute out of day to tell our spouse or brother or sister or parents, "I love you"? ... Thanked our car mechanic, or postman, or teacher, or the kid who works the drive-through window at McDonald's and told them what a great job they were doing? 

     What if we did all of those things -- and more -- every day, with no expectation of thanks or reward? What is the worst that could happen? What kind of world would it be?

     Our world would be a better place.

     We might sleep a little more peacefully tonight.

     That doesn’t sound too bad at all.

     In fact, it sounds pretty nice.

     So 10,000 Acts of Kindness? ... Yep, I'm in!

     

     

     

     

How to Find Stillness in Meditation ... and in Life

As we prepare to begin weekly meditation sessions at the Studio, I thought it best to examine the reasons and benefits of maintaining a regular meditative practice. 

Many of us struggle to sit still -- not just in meditation, but all of the time; we find it nearly impossible to turn ourselves “off”. Like a live wire humming with electricity we seem to feel we must always be doing something.

Impatience and restlessness consume us. 
Tension throbs in our heads. 
Nervous tics manifest in our gestures. 

Presenting as depression, anxiety and cardiac issues, stress is literally killing us. Even when our bodies stop moving – when we are watching TV, or reading a book, for instance – our minds spend so much time racing from one errant thought to the next that we find it difficult, if not impossible, to focus on the very things we do to relax. 

No matter where we are or what we are doing, we feel embroiled in chaos. 

In the car – we want to get where we are going and get there now; consequently, the cars in front of us are never driving fast enough; there is always some delay – construction detours, extra long red-lights ... it all conspires against us. The resultant emotion can manifest as anything from mild annoyance -- "How dare they inconvenience me!" -- to full-blown road rage.

Waiting in line at the store – of course, the person in front of us not only has two carts full of groceries and, of course, they are paying by check, but wait just a moment while I find my pen, I know it’s in here somewhere. 

At work or in school  – we have a thousand things to do, reports are due, deadlines must be met, there are meetings to attend, work piles up, parent-teacher conferences that cannot be missed, there isn’t enough time in the day, and yet the clock drags. 

At home – we have yard work, laundry, house cleaning, meals to be prepared, school lunches to be packed, kids have to go to piano lessons, sports, and doctor’s appointments. We cook our meals in minutes in the microwave or order takeout from the drive through since we don’t have time to sit down to a proper, healthy meal. Our foot taps incessantly while we wait for web pages to load, cursing under our breath if they take more than a few seconds.  

Suddenly it’s like everything has to happen right now and you cannot sit still until it’s done.

And it’s not just you, is it? 

Look around. The world itself is in a rush, people hustling and bustling, constantly moving, hurrying to get somewhere, -- anywhere! -- other than where they are! 

It seems everyone is losing their collective cool a little too quickly these days. Tempers flare at the slightest provocation. We hurl insults and names at one another. We grit our teeth and find ourselves just one misspoken word away from a physical altercation ... as if that would deescalate the tension.

Why? 

Maybe it’s our culture of instant gratification. Maybe it is the advent of technology that is supposed to provide convenience and make our lives more efficient. Maybe it is advertising that sells us on the idea that we constantly have to have more, that happiness comes from things we can buy: if we only buy this program, take that pill, wear these shoes, drive this car, live in this neighborhood, we will be better than the other guy. 

Or maybe ... just maybe ... it is something deeper, something compounded by all of those things. 

Maybe we have lost touch with a fundamental part of ourselves, a connection with the greater world around us, the rhythm of nature. At our very core is a part that recognizes the need to slow down, be patient, and live in the present moment.

Through meditation, I have learned that stillness is not just an external posture. There is a deeper internal, and, yes, spiritual dimension to stillness. 

Allow me to present these 4 simple tips for how to be still when you meditate.

4 SIMPLE STEPS --

(1) DON’T MOVE

This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised -- or maybe not -- by how hard this can be. You must commit to not moving at all. Don’t just plop down somewhere and try to be still. Rather, make a commitment to yourself that you are going to do this and then persevere.

Your focused intention will make a huge difference.

Like anything new, it will take practice. Unless you already train in Martial Arts or yoga, it may not come naturally. In the beginning, you will almost certainly think of a million things that need to get done, even more that cannot be done without you. Your mind will flit restlessly from thought to thought to thought; you will fidget on your cushion or in your chair. When I first started, I managed to sit still for maybe 30 seconds before I knew I had to get up, before my muscles would start twitching with kinetic energy. I willed myself to remain in place, though, and after a few sessions the feeling began to diminish. Soon, I was sitting for 20 minutes, then 30, then an hour. The longest session I ever did was almost six hours, split into two 3-hour sessions with a slight break in between. So progress is not only possible, it is inevitable

With practice and patience -- a lot of patience -- you will master this. 

(2) START SIMPLE

It’s important to build your confidence in being still. You don’t need to follow a complex ritual, recite intricate mantras, or deck yourself out in robes (unless you want to ... then, by all means go for it!).

Find a comfortable spot, sit down, close your eyes and breathe. It really doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

Depending on your level of practice, sit still for an appropriate amount of time.

For example, if you are a novice, try sitting perfectly still for 1 minute. If it goes well, increase it to 2 minutes. Then try 5 minutes, etc.

As I said above, I started with 30 seconds. I would sit quietly in my chair, legs crossed and hands laid loosely upon my knees in half-lotus position (not a necessity, by the way), and I would follow my breath. If a thought arose – and a ton of them did – I would notice it, and then return my attention to my breath. The more I practiced, the easier it became to focus solely on my breath and to quiet my mind.

You too can find your comfort threshold and practice right at the edge, slowly increasing your capacity for stillness.

(3) PAY ATTENTION

When you are sitting still, notice what’s happening. Notice the thoughts rising like bubbles but do not attach to them. How does being still affect the quality of your awareness? Don’t devote a lengthy amount of time to thinking about it, just observe.

When you are able to sit still for long periods of time, you will start to notice the profound relationship between outer and inner stillness. The inner stillness that you are cultivating will carry over into your daily life; you will be calmer, more relaxed, more aware of your surroundings, more acclimated to the present moment, less prone to anger.

The stiller you become, the deeper your capacity for meditation; but more importantly, the stiller you become, the more peaceful and aware you become.

The stillness becomes an oasis in the midst of a busy day; the calm center to which you retreat when life becomes hectic or overwhelming. In such times, you tap into the reserves you have built up.

And meditation becomes a state of being rather than something you do.
 

(4) RELAX

It’s easy to experience tension when trying to be still. I read once that meditation is the perfect middle place between being alert and relaxed; the experience of that middle place is deep inner stillness.

There is no tension in that stillness. You are alert and deeply relaxed.

In order to achieve relaxation, you must breathe. Many schools of meditation tell you to breathe normally as you meditate. I have found, on the other hand, that deep breathing, from the abdomen – the center – helps to promote a relaxed body and a calm, peaceful mind.

Try this: after you are seated comfortably, take a few – say, four or five -- deep, cleansing breaths; breathe in slowly for a count of four,until your lungs are full (but not over full to the point of discomfort), hold it for another count of four, then exhale very slowly four a count of four until your lungs are empty. You can do this as a “cleansing ritual” prior to your actual meditation, or as the focus of the meditation itself.  

As you learn how to be still in meditation, it is important to remember to relax at all times. Meditation is the opposite of tension. It’s all about release and freedom.

To experience the many benefits of meditation, I invite you to join us at the Studio, Saturday mornings at 10:30, beginning February 6th, 2016.

Sit with us.
Breathe with us.
Become still and centered. 

For more information, please call us at (570) 332-4377 or email us at barnesmartialarts@yahoo.com