10,000 Acts of Kindness

“Kindness. One of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return.” -- Unknown Author

"Be Kind whenever possible. It is always possible." H.H., Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

     Almost two years ago to the day I wrote an article for this blog titled, "So You Say You Want a Revolution", in which I described our Studio's intention to start a Kindness Revolution. 

     I concluded that article with a quote by poet Maya Angelou, "People may not remember the things you say, or even the things you do, but they will always remember the way you made them feel."

     At Barnes Martial Arts, we understand that if self-defense is truly "protecting ourselves from anything that would cause us harm", then Kindness is self-defense. 

     As a result, we feel that it our calling to radically redefine the concept of self-defense in the minds of the public to include Acts of Kindness. To that end, we have consistently required students to perform a minimum of 5 Acts of Kindness for Stripe and Belt Tests. As a member of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, we have undertaken monthly Kindness Missions -- some suggested by the Foundation, others of our own creation. 

     There is great power in Kindness. It changes lives, and it costs nothing to be a decent, compassionate human being. 

     With that in mind, we are announcing our most ambitious Kindness Mission ever: 10,000 Acts of Kindness. 

     Here is how it works: Beginning today, we are requiring each student -- adults as well as kids -- to do a minimum of 3 Acts of Kindness per day. Write down WHAT you did; WHEN you did it; and for WHOM you did it. Example: "I bought coffee and a sandwich for a homeless person on Tuesday, March 1st." When you have written down 25 Acts of Kindness, turn them in to Master Barnes and start on your next 25!

     It is literally THAT simple. We will keep all of the Acts of Kindness sheets in a large folder and in 6 months, in September, we will tally them up. 

Never underestimate the power of a single act of Kindness

     Our goal is, obviously, 10,000 Acts of Kindness, but if we ALL take part there is no reason why we cannot substantially exceed that goal!

     Let's look at some numbers in order to see just how easy it would be to achieve this goal:

     Say we only have 10 students. If each student performs 3 Acts of Kindness each day, that is 30 Acts of Kindness per day ... 30 x 7 days/week = 210 Acts of Kindness per week ... 210 x 4 weeks/month = 840 Acts of Kindness per month ... 840 x 6 months = 5,040 Acts of Kindness in half a year. 

     That's just with 10 students!! Pretty amazing, right!!

     Now watch what happens when all 40 of our students participate: 40 students x 3 Acts of Kindness per day = 120/day ... 840/week ... 3,360/month ... and ... WAIT FOR IT ...

     ... 20,160 Acts of Kindness in just 6 months!!!

     That is over double our goal!!

     Together, we can do this. We can leave a lasting, positive change on our communities and the world.

     Maybe others will be inspired by our example to "pay it forward." Maybe our Studio will be the center of a movement that ripples outward, one nice act building on another and another. 

    Think about it: we turn on the television or radio, and all we see is violence; on the Nightly News we are witness to story after story of famine, disease, war, poverty, crime, corruption and man's inhumanity to man (and other living creatures). 

     I'm tired of hearing and seeing all of that negativity, aren't you? 

     What if, instead, we all made a concerted effort to be nice to one another?  To actually, genuinely care about our fellow man -- not just SAY it, but ACT on it? What kind of world would it be if we ... all held open doors for one another? ... Let the person with just a few items go ahead of us and our overflowing shopping cart at the grocery store? ... Rescued pets from the SPCA and taught our children how to care for them? ... Made a real effort to say "Please" and "Thank you"? ... Shoveled a neighbor's driveway in the Winter? ... Or raked their leaves in the Fall? ... Or mowed their lawn in the Summer? ... Helped a co-worker with a project? ... Volunteered in a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? ... Bought a sandwich for a homeless person? ... Stopped to chat with a complete stranger? ... Read a book to an elderly person at an assisted living facility? ... Helped someone carry groceries to their car? ... Took a minute out of day to tell our spouse or brother or sister or parents, "I love you"? ... Thanked our car mechanic, or postman, or teacher, or the kid who works the drive-through window at McDonald's and told them what a great job they were doing? 

     What if we did all of those things -- and more -- every day, with no expectation of thanks or reward? What is the worst that could happen? What kind of world would it be?

     Our world would be a better place.

     We might sleep a little more peacefully tonight.

     That doesn’t sound too bad at all.

     In fact, it sounds pretty nice.

     So 10,000 Acts of Kindness? ... Yep, I'm in!

     

     

     

     

How to Find Stillness in Meditation ... and in Life

As we prepare to begin weekly meditation sessions at the Studio, I thought it best to examine the reasons and benefits of maintaining a regular meditative practice. 

Many of us struggle to sit still -- not just in meditation, but all of the time; we find it nearly impossible to turn ourselves “off”. Like a live wire humming with electricity we seem to feel we must always be doing something.

Impatience and restlessness consume us. 
Tension throbs in our heads. 
Nervous tics manifest in our gestures. 

Presenting as depression, anxiety and cardiac issues, stress is literally killing us. Even when our bodies stop moving – when we are watching TV, or reading a book, for instance – our minds spend so much time racing from one errant thought to the next that we find it difficult, if not impossible, to focus on the very things we do to relax. 

No matter where we are or what we are doing, we feel embroiled in chaos. 

In the car – we want to get where we are going and get there now; consequently, the cars in front of us are never driving fast enough; there is always some delay – construction detours, extra long red-lights ... it all conspires against us. The resultant emotion can manifest as anything from mild annoyance -- "How dare they inconvenience me!" -- to full-blown road rage.

Waiting in line at the store – of course, the person in front of us not only has two carts full of groceries and, of course, they are paying by check, but wait just a moment while I find my pen, I know it’s in here somewhere. 

At work or in school  – we have a thousand things to do, reports are due, deadlines must be met, there are meetings to attend, work piles up, parent-teacher conferences that cannot be missed, there isn’t enough time in the day, and yet the clock drags. 

At home – we have yard work, laundry, house cleaning, meals to be prepared, school lunches to be packed, kids have to go to piano lessons, sports, and doctor’s appointments. We cook our meals in minutes in the microwave or order takeout from the drive through since we don’t have time to sit down to a proper, healthy meal. Our foot taps incessantly while we wait for web pages to load, cursing under our breath if they take more than a few seconds.  

Suddenly it’s like everything has to happen right now and you cannot sit still until it’s done.

And it’s not just you, is it? 

Look around. The world itself is in a rush, people hustling and bustling, constantly moving, hurrying to get somewhere, -- anywhere! -- other than where they are! 

It seems everyone is losing their collective cool a little too quickly these days. Tempers flare at the slightest provocation. We hurl insults and names at one another. We grit our teeth and find ourselves just one misspoken word away from a physical altercation ... as if that would deescalate the tension.

Why? 

Maybe it’s our culture of instant gratification. Maybe it is the advent of technology that is supposed to provide convenience and make our lives more efficient. Maybe it is advertising that sells us on the idea that we constantly have to have more, that happiness comes from things we can buy: if we only buy this program, take that pill, wear these shoes, drive this car, live in this neighborhood, we will be better than the other guy. 

Or maybe ... just maybe ... it is something deeper, something compounded by all of those things. 

Maybe we have lost touch with a fundamental part of ourselves, a connection with the greater world around us, the rhythm of nature. At our very core is a part that recognizes the need to slow down, be patient, and live in the present moment.

Through meditation, I have learned that stillness is not just an external posture. There is a deeper internal, and, yes, spiritual dimension to stillness. 

Allow me to present these 4 simple tips for how to be still when you meditate.

4 SIMPLE STEPS --

(1) DON’T MOVE

This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised -- or maybe not -- by how hard this can be. You must commit to not moving at all. Don’t just plop down somewhere and try to be still. Rather, make a commitment to yourself that you are going to do this and then persevere.

Your focused intention will make a huge difference.

Like anything new, it will take practice. Unless you already train in Martial Arts or yoga, it may not come naturally. In the beginning, you will almost certainly think of a million things that need to get done, even more that cannot be done without you. Your mind will flit restlessly from thought to thought to thought; you will fidget on your cushion or in your chair. When I first started, I managed to sit still for maybe 30 seconds before I knew I had to get up, before my muscles would start twitching with kinetic energy. I willed myself to remain in place, though, and after a few sessions the feeling began to diminish. Soon, I was sitting for 20 minutes, then 30, then an hour. The longest session I ever did was almost six hours, split into two 3-hour sessions with a slight break in between. So progress is not only possible, it is inevitable

With practice and patience -- a lot of patience -- you will master this. 

(2) START SIMPLE

It’s important to build your confidence in being still. You don’t need to follow a complex ritual, recite intricate mantras, or deck yourself out in robes (unless you want to ... then, by all means go for it!).

Find a comfortable spot, sit down, close your eyes and breathe. It really doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

Depending on your level of practice, sit still for an appropriate amount of time.

For example, if you are a novice, try sitting perfectly still for 1 minute. If it goes well, increase it to 2 minutes. Then try 5 minutes, etc.

As I said above, I started with 30 seconds. I would sit quietly in my chair, legs crossed and hands laid loosely upon my knees in half-lotus position (not a necessity, by the way), and I would follow my breath. If a thought arose – and a ton of them did – I would notice it, and then return my attention to my breath. The more I practiced, the easier it became to focus solely on my breath and to quiet my mind.

You too can find your comfort threshold and practice right at the edge, slowly increasing your capacity for stillness.

(3) PAY ATTENTION

When you are sitting still, notice what’s happening. Notice the thoughts rising like bubbles but do not attach to them. How does being still affect the quality of your awareness? Don’t devote a lengthy amount of time to thinking about it, just observe.

When you are able to sit still for long periods of time, you will start to notice the profound relationship between outer and inner stillness. The inner stillness that you are cultivating will carry over into your daily life; you will be calmer, more relaxed, more aware of your surroundings, more acclimated to the present moment, less prone to anger.

The stiller you become, the deeper your capacity for meditation; but more importantly, the stiller you become, the more peaceful and aware you become.

The stillness becomes an oasis in the midst of a busy day; the calm center to which you retreat when life becomes hectic or overwhelming. In such times, you tap into the reserves you have built up.

And meditation becomes a state of being rather than something you do.
 

(4) RELAX

It’s easy to experience tension when trying to be still. I read once that meditation is the perfect middle place between being alert and relaxed; the experience of that middle place is deep inner stillness.

There is no tension in that stillness. You are alert and deeply relaxed.

In order to achieve relaxation, you must breathe. Many schools of meditation tell you to breathe normally as you meditate. I have found, on the other hand, that deep breathing, from the abdomen – the center – helps to promote a relaxed body and a calm, peaceful mind.

Try this: after you are seated comfortably, take a few – say, four or five -- deep, cleansing breaths; breathe in slowly for a count of four,until your lungs are full (but not over full to the point of discomfort), hold it for another count of four, then exhale very slowly four a count of four until your lungs are empty. You can do this as a “cleansing ritual” prior to your actual meditation, or as the focus of the meditation itself.  

As you learn how to be still in meditation, it is important to remember to relax at all times. Meditation is the opposite of tension. It’s all about release and freedom.

To experience the many benefits of meditation, I invite you to join us at the Studio, Saturday mornings at 10:30, beginning February 6th, 2016.

Sit with us.
Breathe with us.
Become still and centered. 

For more information, please call us at (570) 332-4377 or email us at barnesmartialarts@yahoo.com

BARBARA LEWIS -- June 2015 Student of the Month

On Wednesday, July 8 Barbara Lewis was chosen as Student of the Month for June 2015. 

Barbara, age 49, has been a member of the Adult Program since coming to the Studio following a self-defense seminar held at McCann School of Business and Technology in Wilkes-Barre. Barbara enrolled her daughter at the Studio after the seminar. Her own involvement came when she was challenged by her daughter, Emma.

“Emma told me, if I can do this so can you,” says Barbara.

In addition to Martial Arts, Barbara, a resident of Plains, PA lists reading and meditation as other interests.

According to Master Barnes, “Barbara was chosen as Student of the Month for a number of reasons: her enthusiasm for self-defense, which is her favorite part of class; her positive attitude; her willingness to accept and overcome challenges; her participation in every community event and monthly Kindness Mission; she is very tenacious when it comes to learning new techniques and concepts, never settling until she completely understands. Perhaps the most significant reason, though, is the massive personal transformation she experienced as a result of her training. When Barb first came to us, she was very quiet, almost shy, and not very engaged in the class; as time passed, however, and she became aware of her own inner strength, her confidence grew and she really came out of her shell. So much so, that the other students now refer to her as The Barbinator!”

Students of the Month are chosen based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, attitude, technique, personal conduct and how well they exemplify the Martial Arts in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio.

When asked if she had any advice for others who might be considering Martial Arts training, Barbara responded, “Don’t just think about doing something; do it. Just because you think you can’t do something today, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do it tomorrow. Don’t compare yourself to others. Always strive to make your tomorrow better than your best today.”

Great advice, Barb!! Congratulations!!

Feature Article in the Times-Leader

Our Studio -- and our monthly Kindness Missions -- was featured in the Saturday, April 18 edition of the Times-Leader.

Overall I felt it was a very positive article and successfully illustrated that we are more than just kicking and punching.

Martial Arts Students Practice Monthly Acts of Kindness

What You Do Today ...

The following article was adapted from a post that originally appeared on our Studio Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/barnesmartialarts) 

Talk is cheap.

We all say we care about the state of the world, that something should be done about what is going on in our neighborhoods, but until we take action -- any action, no matter how small or how grand -- until we actually do something nothing will change.

Words are powerful; they reach into our hearts and inspire, but they alone have never changed a thing; action does. Action, combined with the inspiration of powerful words and ideas, is an unstoppable force.

We cannot wait for the white knight to ride in on his steed, or the hero to swoop in and save us.

At the risk of sounding grandiose, we are the white knight; we are the hero.
Barnes Martial Arts is committed to taking action to improve our community and our world ...

Sometimes the gesture is personal, like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge that we organized in 2014 in memory of my fiance's father, Ray Williams.

Sometimes the expression is farther reaching and deals with a Universal topic -- such as the current Cards and Letters for Blake Kitchen campaign through which we are attempting to shed more light on the issue of bullying.

Other times, as with the Holiday Clothing and Toy Drives, collecting food for the Al Beech/West Side Food Pantry, or even cleaning up Murray Street, our efforts are focused closer to home.

No positive action is too small.
All positive action is beneficial.

The point is that as Martial Artists we have a greater responsibility to each other. Compassion is one of the fundamental capacities of what it means to be not only a true Black Belt, but a meaningful, contributing member of one's community, and the world at large. More than that, for Martial Artists it represents balance and harmony. It is not enough for us to learn how to damage people without also learning how to reach out and help them. Too often, Martial Arts studios -- even here in Northeastern Pennsylvania -- focus on the closed fist rather than the open hand.

This is why it is so important to our identity as a Studio that our students all become engaged in our ongoing efforts to spread Kindness, to lead by example that Martial Artists are more than just fighters, and to truly take these lessons Out of the Dojo, Into the World.

It is incumbent upon all of us to leave our world in a better state than we found it.

Thank you all for your continuing efforts to help us redefine the role of what it means to be a Martial Arts school in our contemporary world, to set the bar higher than it has ever been set, especially here in Northeast PA.

By aligning with our wider, deeper Vision, we truly can -- and most certainly will -- accomplish great things.

Students of the Month for January and February

On Friday, February 28, 2015 Barnes Martial Arts, 1366 Murray Street, in Forty Fort, PA chose two Students of the Month.

The first – Student of the Month for January – is Matthew Roth, age 6. Matthew, who lives in Swoyersville, is a student at Dana Street elementary, where his favorite subject is reading and his favorite teacher is Mrs. McCabe.

Matthew is a member of the Little Dragons class at Barnes Martial Arts; he is a Gold Belt with one stripe and will be testing for his advanced Gold in May. His favorite techniques are blocks. According to Matthew he became interested in Martial Arts after seeing it in the movies and on television.

He lists his other interests as swimming, football and riding bicycle.

According to his Instructor, Master Gary R. Barnes, “Matthew is a great kid and a great student. He brings a level of energy and enthusiasm to his training that is wonderful to see. Matthew always gives 100% and really makes an effort outside of the Studio as well as in the classroom. I am super proud of the success he demonstrates.”

Matthew, the son of Troy and Jill Roth, says that other kids should try Martial Arts “because it’s a lot of fun.”



The second student – Student of the Month for February – is Sarah Feifer, age 8. Sarah, who lives in Forty Fort, with her parents Eric and Patrice Feifer, is a student at Wyoming Valley West Elementary School, where her favorite subject is spelling. Her favorite teacher is Miss Fulkrod.

In addition to Martial Arts, Sarah’s interests include gymnastics and writing short stories.

Sarah is a member of Barnes Martial Arts Junior Program, where she holds a Gold Belt, 1st stripe; she will be testing for her next belt in May. She loves learning self-defense techniques, especially the newest one called Knee Lift.

“Sarah is a dedicated, serious student,” says her instructor, Master Gary R. Barnes. “She is focused and disciplined, but still has an easy smile and great sense of humor; she is a pure joy to have in class.”

When asked what advice she had for other kids considering studying Martial Arts, Sarah said, “Don’t think of it as hurting somebody. Instead it is about self-defense, and keeping yourself safe, and discipline.”

Barnes Martial Arts chooses Students of the Month based on attitude in and out of the Studio, consistency of attendance, enthusiasm, and focus, as well as the example they set for others.

Students of the Month receive a special patch for their uniform, a 3-D Certificate that suitable for framing, and a featured article on the Studio Facebook page and its blog, The Art of Living.

JAKE RANIELI -- November Student of the Month

NOVEMBER STUDENT OF THE MONTH --

On Friday, December 5, 2014 Barnes Martial Arts chose Jake Ranieli, age 8, as it’s November Student of the Month. Jake has been a member of the Studio for approximately 6 months.

Jake, who lives in Forty Fort with his parents, Joseph & Barbara Ranieli, is a second grade student at Dana street Elementary, where his favorite subject is Math. He lists his other interests as baseball, football, video games and reading books.

Jake, who likes the nickname "Jake the Snake", currently holds the rank of Gold Belt, 2nd stripe, and originally got into Martial Arts because he "just wanted to try it."

Jake's favorite part of Martial Arts class is sparring -- both stand-up and on the ground.

According to his Instructor, Master Gary R. Barnes, “Jake has a burning enthusiasm for training. He gives 100% every time he is in class and pushes himself to constantly improve. Jake is very driven to succeed, but he balances that with a sense of fun; he has an easy laugh and a great sense of humor. In terms of physical technique, Jake exhibits speed, power, and focus; but the best thing about him is his attitude. He loves a challenge, but he also participates in our monthly Kindness Missions -- collecting food for the hungry; donating toys for our Holiday Toy and Coat Drive; giving his time and effort to our community projects. He is an all-around great kid."

Barnes Martial Arts Students of the Month are chosen based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, enthusiasm, listening skills, technique, attitude, behavior and how well they exemplify "Black Belt Excellence and Attitude" in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio. Input from teachers and parents is a valuable contribution.

Students of the Month receive a special patch for their uniform and a 3-D Certificate, suitable for framing.

This article has been submitted to both the Times-Leader and Citizen's voice for publication.

CONGRATULATIONS JAKE!!

Finding Stillness, Part 2

Finding Stillness, Part 2

The Chinese symbols to the left may be translated as quiet, peaceful, calm, stillness, comfort. 

As we discover the stillness within, we recognize the calming effect it has on our mind, body and spirit.

But stillness may have a calming effect on the world around us as well. By becoming still, we may cause others to pause, to pay attention; our quiet also quiets others. We set the mood for those who work and train and interact with us.

We lead by example. 

When we rush and set a hectic pace – at work, in school, at home, on the mat in Martial Arts class -- others become stressed in an effort to keep up. For example, if we hurry our way through a technique -- especially when we are first learning it -- our partners may become frustrated as they attempt to work with us. Some people, some students, are more concerned about "what comes next" than they are about what they are working on Now; that is how mistakes are made, how tempers flare, and how, sometimes, people get hurt. 

Stillness has the opposite effect. It slows the world down, allows us to focus, gives us time for contemplation, for what matters most.

There are those among us who will claim, “I can't slow down; too many things depend on my attention.” Those are the people most in need of stillness and quiet. Because, eventually, all of those things pulling at our attention tend to cause us to burn out. Ever notice how some kids who are involved in everything -- piano lessons on Monday, soccer several times a week, art class  on Wednesday, rehearsing for the school play in the evening, gymnastics on the weekend -- oftentimes end up chucking it all and doing nothing? That is a cry for stillness. 

We don't always find stillness by sitting quietly ... although that is a wonderful method. Sometimes, though, we must access that small, quiet part of our Spirit while we are engaged in activities -- athletes call it "being in the zone"; when all external distractions fade away and all that is left is the present moment. Their bodies are moving, acting and reacting to the game, but their minds are quiet, calm, focused. Most of us have experienced such a feeling at one time or another -- students may feel it during a test that they feared, only to find that the answers flowed as easily as their own breath; nurses experience a form of stillness when they deal with a crisis; you may have known such a feeling when you flawlessly performed a technique at which you were previously frustrated. 

Being quiet, finding stillness, is such a simple thing, but it is not easy. It takes effort. It takes strength to be still when others rush, to not get caught up in, or wose, overwhelmed by the flow. It takes courage to be different, to go against the stream, to slow down while others are hurrying. Others might think us weird at first, but that is OK. Oftentimes, it is the people who are thought to be weird -- the eccentrics, the artists, the pioneers -- those who think differently, act differently who break out of the shackles of routine and make the most difference in their world, and in the world at large. 

While we may not always be able to sit in silent stillness, finding a few minutes for quiet contemplation can be as simple as getting up a few minutes earlier in the morning. Don’t do anything, don’t plan your day, don’t check email, don’t eat. Find a comfortable chair, or go outside, if possible, and just sit, and learn to be comfortable being still. Find a chair in your house, or on a front porch, or sit in the cool grass of your backyard. It can be a park bench, or the beach, or a path in the woods. Where ever you sit, let it be a ritual that you look forward to. 

Then just sit ... and breathe. Eyes closed or open ... it doesn't matter. As thoughts arise (and they will!) simply let them slip away. Listen to the sounds of the morning world -- birds singing, the breeze as it rustles the leaves of the trees, even the sound of traffic in the distance. Pay attention to the smells -- the soil, the air.

Gradually, as you become quieter you will be more aware than ever before of all that is going on around you. You will realize that, at any time, you can become an island of calm in a sea of activity. 

With practice, comfort will come. If mornings are no good, find another time that works for you -- during your lunch break, after work or school, just before you go to bed, or arrive for your Martial Arts class 5-10 minutes early and sit quietly ... even if others around you are not. The actual time that you choose doesn't matter -- what you do with it, or don't do with it does. 

From this small place of stillness soothing calm will radiate to the rest of your day. You will learn to find little pockets of stillness everywhere: when you first start your work or school day, when you are ready to sit down and create, when you’re about to eat, when you are ready to take to the mats in class, during a meeting ... any time. 

Practice, regularly. That is the key. You cannot try it once, then say, "Well it doesn't work for me!"

Like any kick or punch, any throw or grappling technique, you must practice it over and over, until it becomes part of you.

Practice, and learn.

Practice stillness, even -- perhaps especially -- when you don't want to.