Black Belt Parenting -- Attendance: A Key to Success

Consistent class attendance is the biggest contributing factor to success!

Discipline ... respect ... improved focus ... resistance to negative peer pressure ... standing up to bullies ... increased confidence and self-esteem ... a solid work ethic ... personal responsibility ... kindness ... compassion ... the list of benefits from Martial Arts training for students of all ages is nearly endless!!  

     However, students cannot reap those benefits if they aren't in the classroom; therefore, one of the most fundamental things your child can do to achieve Black Belt success is also one of the most crucial: attending class.  

     By establishing that attendance at the Studio is a priority, you are taking an important step in supporting your child's success, not only in Martial Arts but in Life, as well as setting a good example. While we would LOVE to see every child attend on a daily basis, we understand that this is not always possible and, therefore, recommend a minimum of two classes per week – three would be optimal!!

     As in their regular school, where research has shown that attendance may be the biggest factor influencing a child's academic success, progress through the Martial Arts ranks – as well as attaining a host of connected mental benefits – has a direct correlation to how often they come to class.

Benefits of Regular Attendance

By attending class regularly, your child will keep up with the daily/weekly lessons and assignments, and take Stripe and Belt tests on time.

     


There are other benefits as well:

• Achievement: Students who regularly attend class are more likely to have the discipline to commit to and complete other activities in their life than students who didn't attend regularly.

• Opportunity: Being at the Studio several times a week affords students an opportunity to engage with a wide variety of people, maximize their social skills, and – for older students – opens the potential to assume leadership rolls within the school.

• Being part of the school community: Just by being present at the Studio, your child is learning valuable life and social skills, working on Kindness Missions, learning the importance of respect, discipline, focus, awareness, teamwork, compassion and developing a broader world view.

• The importance of education: Your commitment to class attendance will also send a message to your child that the value of Martial Arts education is a priority for your family; going to the Studio is a critical part of success, and that it's important to take your responsibilities seriously — including finishing those things which you start. 

What You Can Do When Your Child Misses Class

     So what happens when your child needs to miss school due to a medical appointment or family trip? Sometimes these situations can't be avoided. In such cases:

• Contact the Studio Immediately -- Talk with the instructor to make sure your child doesn't fall behind on any of the lessons that he/she missed.

• Judge These Situations Carefully --  Attendance is a policy that we take seriously. Unlike your child’s regular school, where unexcused absences go on a permanent record, the consequences of missing class at the Studio can include falling behind on lessons, missing Stripe and Belt tests that will put them behind their classmates, and an overall decline in performance. 

• Help Your Child get to the Studio on Time every day -- Babysitting, problems with a car, bus, or the weather are all understandable issues. But frequently coming to class late develops bad habits that may manifest in other areas, and it is distracting to the classes already in progress. Frequent tardiness often leads to lack of motivation, and will make it difficult for your child to stay caught up with the lessons of each class. Reinforce the Black Belt Attitude of Self-Discipline by teaching your child how to set and use an alarm clock, and to avoid distractions like the television, computer or video games prior to leaving for class.

• Follow the Studio’s Guidelines and Attendance Policy --  Upon enrollment in our Studio, each student receives (usually by email) a copy of a Technique Manual for their age-group, and a Student Handbook that clearly outlines the rules of etiquette at the Studio (our expectation for a student’s behavior) and our Attendance Policy. Periodically reviewing the Student Handbook with your child throughout their training, explaining the rules and answering any questions they may have, reinforces their commitment and  allows them to fully understand what is expected of them.

• Check Homework – Yes, we give homework – in the form of Kindness Missions, new techniques, katas, basics, etc. Students – especially children – should practice at home as well as in the Studio. This builds positive habits and a strong work ethic, but also helps place the responsibility for their success or failure squarely in their own hands. Each night after class, check to see that your child understands and completes the day's assignments. Home practice also tends to build enthusiasm, especially when directed by a caring, encouraging parent. 

• Take an Active Role – At our Studio, parents are more than just spectators; we value your feedback. We also request your participation in helping your child to practice at home, as well as carry out Kindness Missions, and attend special lessons and classes ... but most of all, we urge you to encourage your child in pursuit of their success. While constructive criticism has its place in developing superior technique, we encourage you to be a “good-finder”. Celebrate the little goals along the way – not just the Stripe and Belt tests, but praise their performance in class. Stay involved with your child's experiences at the Studio by asking them how class went, and then listening carefully to what they share with you — both the successes and struggles. Make it a point to meet and regularly speak with your child's instructor. 

• Locate Potential Sources of Anxiety -- Kids frequently use the excuse that “I’m bored” to avoid attending class, even when there may be a deeper underlying issue. If your child frequently appears upset or reluctant to attend class and cannot tell you why, schedule an appointment with the instructor to discuss possible sources of the anxiety.

• Keep Updated on Studio Events and Announcements -- Read the documents that your child brings home, take note of important announcements and dates, watch the calendar, keep up with the Studio Facebook page, YouTube channel, and online blog. There are a ton of interesting, exciting and motivational activities going on at the Studio. 

• Try to Limit the Amount of Time Your Child Misses Class due to Medical Appointments or Illness – Whenever possible, avoid scheduling doctor's appointments during class time. Allow your child to stay home only in the case of contagious or severe illnesses. Exercise, including Martial Arts, is excellent for strengthening the body's immune system. 

• Keep Your Child's Attendance Schedule in Mind When Planning Extended Vacations – Everyone needs an occasional break from the pressures of daily life. Bear in mind, however, that any time away from the Studio will have an effect on not only the quality of one’s training, but on progression through the ranks. In the case of family vacations, nonattendance due to medical circumstances, or extended absences, talk to the instructor as far in advance as possible and, together, you may be able to set up a way that your child might incorporate practice into their time away.

• Plan Ahead -- Encourage your child to prepare for class by laying out their uniform and belt the night before. This speeds up the process of getting ready, develops the habit of personal responsibility and helps avoid excuses of “I forgot my belt” or “I left my uniform at home.”

• Promote Good Health – Martial Arts is part of an overall healthy way of life. Above and beyond the value of learning practical self-defense, our ongoing anti-bully message and Acts of Kindness, Martial Arts workouts build muscle and burn fat and calories. Diabetes and obesity have reached epidemic proportions in this country, even – perhaps, especially – among children. Heart disease is among the top killers of American men and women. An increasingly sedentary lifestyle combined with a voracious consumption of greasy, fat and sodium-laden fast foods, is proving deadly to us. At Barnes Martial Arts, we feel that it is our duty to show that REAL self-defense (“protecting ourselves from anything that would harm us”) goes beyond kicking, punching and grappling. It is a lifestyle that includes awareness of the substances and foods we put into our bodies. We urge our students to eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins, and to get plenty of fresh air. Through regular, consistent attendance at the Studio, your child has an opportunity to exercise every day – in an exciting, FUN manner!

• Create a restful environment. Finally, make sure that your child can relax before bedtime by doing something quiet like reading rather than do something stimulating, like watching television. Ensure that your child gets enough quality sleep — ideal amounts range from 8 to 12 hours. Getting enough sleep will help him/her get up on time, be refreshed in the morning, and feel ready for not only a full day of learning in school, but for their high-energy Martial Arts classes! 

In Conclusion ... 

Every student progresses at their own pace ... but they have to show up!!

     Students who frequently miss days – or even weeks – of training will find it difficult to maintain their enthusiasm for training and align their progression through the ranks with their peers. Prolonged absences are also difficult on parents, often leading to arguments. 

By making attendance a priority, you will be taking an important step in supporting your child's success, and setting a good example.

Remember — every class counts!

What is The Gratitude Project?

What is The Gratitude Project?

For several months I have been discussing my thoughts with various students for a community action team that we have, subsequently, come to call the The Gratitude Project. It began as a germ of an idea, a persistent notion that our Studio was/could be more than just a place where people learned to punch and kick and grapple, -- there are already so many schools that fulfill that basic need -- more than just another faceless business. I had this inspiring thought that because of what we teach – our focus on educating people on the deeper lessons of the Arts and of humanity and character -- that we are uniquely poised to bring something ... more ... to our community.

Over time and through meetings with students, parents and some very engaged community volunteers like Louise Keller of the Domoestic Violence service Center, the idea began to evolve and finally crystallize.

Now, I’d like to take a few moments of your time to clearly share what The Gratitude Project is ... its purpose and its goals.

Although hosted by/at the Studio, The Gratitude Project is a completely separate entity from our regular physical Martial Arts curriculum. It is – or will be – comprised of students, parents and members of the community at large who are interested in building a legacy of Kindness, compassion, giving, service and helping those in need.

We do it out of a sense of gratitude for being able to serve, and because it the right thing to do. 

Everyone has a cause that matters to them. Maybe it is related to cancer, diabetes, heart health or some other health-related issue ... maybe it is humanitarian efforts, like helping flood or earthquake victims ... maybe your cause has to do with animal rights ... or going green ... or helping to stop bullying in all of its forms.

Whatever your passion, we want to work with you on it, to do something as a Team – a project – that means something to you and we want you to do it with Excellence.

Want to raise food to feed local hungry families?

Help the Humane Society get supplies or toys for sheltered animals?

Help a neighbor with small household repairs?
Mow a lawn?

Shovel snow for the elderly (not now, of course, but, like, in the winter!!)?

Raise funds for a local charitable organization?

It doesn’t matter whether the cause is large or small, local or national in scope. If it is important to you, it is important to the The Gratitude Project. If every one of us did just one project that touched our hearts, imagine how much better our world would be. Now imagine if we put together a group of like-minded, dedicated people – people like YOU and me – who were committed to making that kind of involvement a regular part of their lives, to making Kindness and contribution a habit. Can you envision the difference they could make?

It seems that we always find the time to do the things we want to do, the FUN stuff – video games, sports, hanging with our friends. What if doing good things for others could be just as much fun?

NOW IT CAN!

Our vision is not to have boring, stuffy, dull meetings. Yes, we still teach and learn valuable leadership skills that carry into other areas of our lives (more on that in a bit) but we do it by getting together once or twice a month (maybe more, if a particular project requires) for a Gratitude Project party!! Think of it as a high-energy, fun-filled, positive, motivational atmosphere – with refreshments and exciting activities and exercises to develop teamwork and leadership!

The value of any Team is found in its members and in its mission. The Gratitude Project is designed to be an outlet where members identify a need or a cause; plan and design a project as a group; document each step through the use of video and the written word; and implement their project through direct action.

The Team revolves around Project Based Leadership – that is, we actively develop practical leadership skills that Team members can put into a portfolio or a resume and use in other endeavors like school, sports, or career. Beyond that, though, these are viable, hands-on skills that instill the values of contribution, kindness, giving back. As it grows and develops over time, The Gratitude Project will function to allow more experienced members to serve in a mentoring capacity; this is yet another skill our young people can carry forward in their lives.

As you can see, serving on the Project benefits the members as well as the community.  

This is an opportunity for students, parents and members of the community to get off the couch, turn off the TV or computer, come together and do something that has genuine meaning to them and create a forum to inspire people and make a real difference.

Lastly, what identifies a team as a team? A uniform, of course. That is why, as the Team grows and evolves, as the members knit together, we are eventually looking to provide t-shirts with our Team logo in order to unify us.

We would love for YOU to become a part of our Team.

PLEASE SEE MASTER BARNES IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY

BARBARA LEWIS -- June 2015 Student of the Month

On Wednesday, July 8 Barbara Lewis was chosen as Student of the Month for June 2015. 

Barbara, age 49, has been a member of the Adult Program since coming to the Studio following a self-defense seminar held at McCann School of Business and Technology in Wilkes-Barre. Barbara enrolled her daughter at the Studio after the seminar. Her own involvement came when she was challenged by her daughter, Emma.

“Emma told me, if I can do this so can you,” says Barbara.

In addition to Martial Arts, Barbara, a resident of Plains, PA lists reading and meditation as other interests.

According to Master Barnes, “Barbara was chosen as Student of the Month for a number of reasons: her enthusiasm for self-defense, which is her favorite part of class; her positive attitude; her willingness to accept and overcome challenges; her participation in every community event and monthly Kindness Mission; she is very tenacious when it comes to learning new techniques and concepts, never settling until she completely understands. Perhaps the most significant reason, though, is the massive personal transformation she experienced as a result of her training. When Barb first came to us, she was very quiet, almost shy, and not very engaged in the class; as time passed, however, and she became aware of her own inner strength, her confidence grew and she really came out of her shell. So much so, that the other students now refer to her as The Barbinator!”

Students of the Month are chosen based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, attitude, technique, personal conduct and how well they exemplify the Martial Arts in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio.

When asked if she had any advice for others who might be considering Martial Arts training, Barbara responded, “Don’t just think about doing something; do it. Just because you think you can’t do something today, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do it tomorrow. Don’t compare yourself to others. Always strive to make your tomorrow better than your best today.”

Great advice, Barb!! Congratulations!!

Are YOU a Bully? (Part ONE)

A great deal of time in our Studio is spent educating students on how to identifying bullies, understanding why people bully, how to properly respond to a bully, and even how to physically defend against a bully. 

One question that we address at Barnes Martial Arts that is frequently overlooked by most Martial Arts schools when speaking with their students is: "Are you a bully?" 

As educators we all want to believe that our own students are as pure as can be, that any threat to their classmates solely exists somewhere "out there". After all, no one would dare bully someone in a Martial Arts studio, would they? Sadly, although it is a very rare occurrence, that is, despite our best intentions, not always the case. The truth is bullies can exist wherever people interact. Disappointingly, over my 34 years in the Martial Arts I have unfortunately witnessed students bully others on the mats, in the dressing rooms, and in the parking lot outside the school. 

Barnes Martial Arts prides itself on being a "Bully-Free Zone", and I firmly believe that, thankfully, none of our students fits the profile, but it is wise, nonetheless, to address the issue as part of an overall program of preparedness. 

Bullying, as we are all aware, is a threat to the mental, physical, and psychological safety of children (and adults, for that matter); study after study has shown that the effects of bullying can last long after the behavior has stopped, even into adulthood (see: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/20/effects-of-bullying-last-into-adulthood-study-finds/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=1). 

So ... if you are a Martial Arts student (or parent of a student) and are unsure of whether you may be a bully at school or elsewhere, the following questions will help you reflect on your behavior and that of others around you. 

(1) DO I KNOW WHAT BULLYING IS ?

According to Center for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines, bullying is “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) … that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.” This dovetails with the definition that we use at the Studio, which comes from Master Dave Kovar's excellent organization, Martial Artists Against Bullying (http://donewithbullying.com) and their "Done With Bullying" program: "Bullying is when someone tries to deliberately hurt other people with words or actions. In order for something to truly be considered bullying, it must be intentional AND repetitive. Without these two words, anything could be labeled as bullying." 

(2) DO I DERIVE PLEASURE FROM WATCHING OR CAUSING OTHERS TO FAIL?

Bullies put people down in order to lift themselves up. They are trying to fit in and feel that bullying is the way to do it. They try to feel like more, by making others feel like less. If you like seeing classmates mess up a task, you will be less likely to be supportive of others’ successes and more inclined to ignore their feelings. 

(3) HOW IS MY LISTENING?

Do you listen carefully when people are talking or do you think mostly about how you will respond? When someone else is speaking, do you think to yourself (or say out loud): "Who cares? I just wish you'd shut up." Listening, with empathy and concern, is a good guard against bullying. Why is listening in this way important? Because, if you care about how your actions affect others, you are less likely to act in a way that hurts them.

(4) DO I WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF AS TOUGH? 

How important to you is that your reputation is one of dominance and strength? If your reputation is largely built around your perceived strength over others, that is a serious problem. You are more likely to put yourself above them. Despite what a bully may believe, physically exerting oneself, hurting others, pushing, shoving, hitting, threatening violence, to get what you want is not a sign of toughness. On the contrary, it is an indicator of both fear, and a weakness of character.

Remember, true strength is measured in honesty, respect, confidence, trustworthiness, kindness, and compassion.

(5) DO I EXERCISE POWER OVER OTHERS JUST BECAUSE I CAN?

Sometimes bullies have an attitude that they call all the shots, that others must listen to them and do what they say or suffer the bully's anger. Do you boss others around? Do you like the feeling that someone has to do what you say? This is a serious warning sign. A better behavior is to become a friend rather than a dictator. 

(6) DO I BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY, OR TREAT OTHERS DIFFERENTLY WHEN YOU ARE BEING WATCHED BY A PARENT, TEACHER, OR AUTHORITY FIGURE? 

If you call people names, push them, invade their personal space, insult them, or cause them embarrassment when you think no one is looking, that is bullying behavior. Many bullies are sneaky and will only act out when they think there is no chance of being caught. You may think that they are cowards for acting this way, but it is an indicator of manipulative behavior. Bullies will frequently act friendly with their victims in front of teachers or parents, only to harass or hurt them the minute the teacher is out of sight.

Fortunately, the Martial Arts studio is small enough that the Master Instructor, Junior Leaders, and others can observe most behavior at all times. 

(7) HOW IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR?

Everyone loves to laugh and have a good time. A good sense of humor can bring people together. But jokes that focus on reinforcing one's supposed superiority over someone else are harmful. Jokes about somebody’s race or ethnicity; a physical or mental disability; making fun of someone who cannot afford expensive clothing; or that exploit common stigmas such as being poor, wearing glasses, or any number of factors is unacceptable. Even if the person being joked about appears to be in on it, know that it can often be difficult for them and/or bystanders -- due to fear or embarrassment -- to call out unfunny and mean jokes. They may laugh to mask the pain. And because determining that can be difficult , it is best to avoid inappropriate humor altogether.

A bully listens only for the laugh and derives pleasure from the pain or humiliation of others. 

(8) AM I A CYBER BULLY?

Before you send that Facebook message, or post that tweet, consider three important

rules of online social interaction:

1. Don’t say anything in writing you would not -- or should not -- say in person.

2. Remember it is hard to determine tone, intention, humor, or sarcasm in text form. 

3. Do not ever post someone else’s words or images without his/her permission. There is a saying that "The Internet is forever". What you post as a joke today, can cause someone pain for years. 

(9) HOW DO I SOLVE PROBLEMS? 

It’s inevitable -- and normal -- that you will eventually have problems with other people. Bullies may often avoid respectful solutions -- like discussion -- to problems; relying instead on force or control. They may manipulate others against the victim; they may be aggressive; or they may put others down if they don't get their way. Sometimes the insult may be spoken behind someone’s back, but it still establishes destructive behaviors by influencing other and possibly turning them against the bully's target.

It requires bravery and honesty -- characteristics that many bullies lack -- to deal with a problem directly. Bullies look for the easy way out: violence, threats, non-communication.

(10) DO I PERSUADE OR COERCE?

One can be can be assertive and well-spoken in one's point of view without resorting to manipulation or games to get what one wants. If you think that somebody is wrong or your idea is better, be persuasive, but not coercive. Persuasive means saying, "I think I have a good idea and here are the reasons that we might want to consider it." Coercion says, "We are going to do things my way ... or else."

Only a bully uses force or threats to get their way. Instead, be confident enough to be clear with your side of things and kind and open enough to listen to others’ views. The best ideas should win, not just yours.

If any of these questions made you pause and think about how you treat others, consider speaking with your parents or reaching out to a teacher.

It is never to late to make your life bully-free ... even if the bully is us.

Feature Article in the Times-Leader

Our Studio -- and our monthly Kindness Missions -- was featured in the Saturday, April 18 edition of the Times-Leader.

Overall I felt it was a very positive article and successfully illustrated that we are more than just kicking and punching.

Martial Arts Students Practice Monthly Acts of Kindness

You Are Only as Big or as Good as Your Vision

Any Martial Arts studio can teach a student to kick and punch. Unfortunately, that is all some of them do.

I have given 34 years of my life to exploring, training in and teaching the varied arts that I love; I have seen and experienced firsthand the incredible transformational power that can come when they are properly taught and studied.

That is why it deeply pains me to see that, for so many studios, ego has taken over and the driving force has become all about how much money the owner can make (charging hundreds of dollars/month in tuition, using hard-sell tactics, and constantly hyping "program upgrades"), how many "world champions" or so-called "black belts" or they generate (often too quickly and while charging exorbitant test fees, to the detriment of both the student and the art), how many trophies line their front windows, etc. They nominate and elect themselves to meaningless, ridiculous martial arts "Halls of Fame". In the pursuit of money, trophies, glory, or self-aggrandizement they have either forgotten or deliberately abandoned the deeper lessons of the Martial Arts.

While that appears to increasingly be the norm, I'd like to think Barnes Martial Arts students are part of something more intelligent.

They know that fighting is absolutely the last resort, the final option.

They are aware that their actions and behaviors affect their families, their friends, their neighborhoods and their world in ways both positive and negative. They strive on a daily basis to maximize their positive impact while minimizing the negative. 

To that end, our students undertake various projects each month that serve to expand the reach of the lessons they are learning. Here are just a few samples of the Missions (some completed, some ongoing) at Barnes Martial Arts --

• Work toward the elimination of bullying in our local schools by offering classes, seminars and specialized programs that focus on educating students, the public and school administrators and teachers on how to identify, deal with and safely intervene with bullying behavior.

• Work toward the elimination of Domestic Violence in Luzerne County (and elsewhere) by offering free workshops, clinics and self-defense seminars.

• Monthly Kindness Missions -- everything from cleaning up our neighborhoods, to painting Kindness Rocks, to working with charitable organizations like the ALS Association.

• Annual Toy and Clothing Drives to help those in need.

• Working with the Al Beech/West Side Food Pantry to feed hundreds of hungry local families in our area

• Organizing a Card & Letter Campaign for Blake Kitchen, a 12 year old autistic Missouri boy who was severely beaten by a school bully.

• Finding and recognizing local heroes (upcoming)

• Group participation in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge organized in 2014 in memory of my fiancé’s father Ray Williams, to raise awareness of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," a progressive neuro-degenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord.

• April 2015 -- Spring planting campaign. It doesn't matter what they plant -- a tree, herbs, vegetables or flowers -- they are spreading Life and that is Kindness. 

Our goal – the likes of which has never been attempted before in Northeast PA – is nothing less than the complete redefinition of the concept of self-defense and the role of the Martial Arts studio – and Martial Arts student -- in the community.

First, we must accept that true self-defense comes from safeguarding ourselves from anything that would harm our mind, body, or spirit. Considering that cardio-vascular disease and diabetes, for example, kill far more people in the United States than do violent street encounters or roving bands of sword-wielding ninjas, it is not an exaggeration to suggest that the food we eat, what we drink and other substances that we put into our bodies are as much factors of self-defense as knowing how to throw a powerful, knockout punch or a devastating kick. 

Next, positivity goes hand-in-hand with Kindness and Compassion.  These are the deeper lessons that we teach; these ideas may be considered as “self-defense of the Spirit.”

Each of our students embodies the commitment to becoming a meaningful, contributing part of their/our community. They realize that the true nature of the training transcends the physical; the act of punching and kicking is merely a vehicle to a deeper understanding of lessons on life and living.

They understand that we are all part of one world and it is our duty, as individuals, to leave that world in a better state than we found it, to steward it for future generations. You might call that “community” or “environmental” self-defense.

The same goes for our mental "nutrition". We must defend our minds as much as our bodies, perhaps more. How different would our day -- indeed, our very lives -- be if we awoke each morning with a heart full of joy, grateful for simply being alive? What successes and benefits would we enjoy if we greeted the morning with a smile on our face? What consequence would we experience if, before we took on the day, we sat for just a moment on the side of our bed and gave silent thanks for 5 or 10 things in our lives?

Attitude does determine our altitude -- in Martial Arts, education, business, and in Life. Of course, it isn't always easy to stay positive in a world that often seems pitted against us. But really, what other choice is there? 

Negativity sets the tone for our day -- we see everything as a curse; the world is out to get us; the Universe hates us. We say destructive things to ourselves like, "This is just my luck" or "I am such a loser", until, like weeds, those thoughts, take root, germinate and grow, eventually dominating not only our behavior but our very identity.

Is that any way to live? By contrast, a positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, reactions, events, behaviors and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

I often say that our Studio is "small, but we are mighty." The reasons listed above are proof of that.

As Martial Artists we have a greater responsibility to each other. Compassion is one of the fundamental capacities of what it means to be an evocative, instrumental member of one's community, and the world at large. More than that, for Martial Artists it represents balance and harmony. It is not enough for us to learn how to damage people without also learning how to reach out and help them. Too often, Martial Arts studios -- even here in NEPA -- focus on the closed fist rather than the open hand.

This is why it is so important to our identity as a Studio that our students all become engaged in our ongoing efforts to spread Kindness, to set the example that Martial Artists are more than just fighters, and to truly take these lessons ... “Out of the Dojo, Into the World”.

Thank you for your continuing efforts to help us redefine the role of what it means to be a Martial Arts school in our contemporary world, to set the bar higher than it has ever been set locally.

By aligning with our wider, deeper Vision, together we can truly accomplish great things.

March 2015 Student of the Month -- BRAYDEN ISAACS

On Tuesday, March 31, Brayden Isaacs, age 5, was chosen as Student of the Month.

He is a member of the Little Dragons Program, a specialized age-appropriate class for children ages 4-7. 

Brayden is a Kindergarten student at St. Nicholas/St. Mary’s in Wilkes-Barre, where his favorite teacher is Mrs. Al-Saigh. According to Brayden, his favorite thing to do in school is “having recess”.

He lives in Kingston with his parents, Dennis Isaacs and Mary Sweeney.

Brayden has been attending Barnes Martial Arts for about eight months and he has attained the rank of Advanced Gold Belt, 2nd stripe. His favorite part of class is a self-defense technique called “The Shield”. 

According to Master Barnes, “Brayden was chosen as Student of the Month for a number of reasons: he is incredibly focused -- it really stands out among kids his age; he is very smart -- he asks some of the best questions; his enthusiasm for training is off the charts; his positive attitude; extraordinary attendance – he almost never misses a class; he participates in every community event and monthly Kindness Mission. Brayden is an exemplary student in every sense and, to me, he is an outstanding example of what a Student of the Month should represent!”

In addition to Martial Arts, he lists his other interests as playing soccer and video games.  

Students of the Month are chosen based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, attitude, technique, personal conduct and how well they exemplify the Martial Arts in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio.

When asked if he had any advice for other kids who were thinking of pursuing Martial Arts training, Brayden responded, “Do it because it is fun.”

Barnes Martial Arts is located at 1366 Murray Street in Forty Fort, PA.

Kid's Martial Arts Class, Forty Fort, Pennsylvania. Seated, Patient, and Building Good Character.

Kid's Martial Arts Class, Forty Fort, Pennsylvania. Seated, Patient, and Building Good Character. 

Here's a photo of two young men in our Little Dragons Class class who have recently tested for their next belt rank. The shot was taken with a Samsung Galaxy Note 2 cell phone. I like this photo as it shows thee two young men sitting patiently and proudly as they listen to the instructors praise for their performance, perseverance, and their ability to set and achieve goals. 

In the martial arts, especially with young people, character development goes hand in hand with learning the physical skills of the art. 

Barnes Martial Arts is located at 1366 Murray Street in Forty Fort, PA 18704. You may write us through this blog or our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/barnesmartialarts or reach us by phone at (570) 332-4377.

Here's a link to our Tumblr : (http://barnesmartialarts.tumblr.com/). Here's a link to our YOUTUBE Channel (https://www.youtube.com/c/BarnesMartialArtsFortyFort).

VIDEO -- Martial Arts for Kids, Forty Fort, PA

A video from the Barnes Martial Arts YouTube Channel ... Junior student, Jake Ranieli shows the heavy bag who is boss.

Barnes Martial Arts is the area leader in teaching kids confidence ... respect ... discipline ... and focus.

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http://youtu.be/lgKw0v-9JdU

JAKE RANIELI -- November Student of the Month

NOVEMBER STUDENT OF THE MONTH --

On Friday, December 5, 2014 Barnes Martial Arts chose Jake Ranieli, age 8, as it’s November Student of the Month. Jake has been a member of the Studio for approximately 6 months.

Jake, who lives in Forty Fort with his parents, Joseph & Barbara Ranieli, is a second grade student at Dana street Elementary, where his favorite subject is Math. He lists his other interests as baseball, football, video games and reading books.

Jake, who likes the nickname "Jake the Snake", currently holds the rank of Gold Belt, 2nd stripe, and originally got into Martial Arts because he "just wanted to try it."

Jake's favorite part of Martial Arts class is sparring -- both stand-up and on the ground.

According to his Instructor, Master Gary R. Barnes, “Jake has a burning enthusiasm for training. He gives 100% every time he is in class and pushes himself to constantly improve. Jake is very driven to succeed, but he balances that with a sense of fun; he has an easy laugh and a great sense of humor. In terms of physical technique, Jake exhibits speed, power, and focus; but the best thing about him is his attitude. He loves a challenge, but he also participates in our monthly Kindness Missions -- collecting food for the hungry; donating toys for our Holiday Toy and Coat Drive; giving his time and effort to our community projects. He is an all-around great kid."

Barnes Martial Arts Students of the Month are chosen based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, enthusiasm, listening skills, technique, attitude, behavior and how well they exemplify "Black Belt Excellence and Attitude" in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio. Input from teachers and parents is a valuable contribution.

Students of the Month receive a special patch for their uniform and a 3-D Certificate, suitable for framing.

This article has been submitted to both the Times-Leader and Citizen's voice for publication.

CONGRATULATIONS JAKE!!

Anna Weiss ... October Student of the Month

On Friday, November 5, 2014 we chose Anna Weiss age 6, as Student of the Month for October. She has been a member of the Little Dragons program since just after the school opened in September of 2013.

Anna, who lives in Forty Fort with her parents, Erin and Michael Weiss, attends school at Wyoming Area Catholic. Her favorite subject is math and her favorite teacher is Mrs. Ungureit (Mrs. U.) She lists her other interests as music (especially her favorite song, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas") soccer, drawing and ... eating noodles!

Anna currently holds the rank of Orange Belt, First Stripe, and her favorite Martial arts technique is the ax kick.  

Anna is a wonderful girl and a terrific student. She is focused, very friendly and gives 100% effort in class. She has a great attitude and sense of humor. In terms of technique, she has really come along in just a few short months; she has shown a lot of improvement and dedication. Anna likes a challenge and she is willing to try new things in class. For instance, we do push-ups with the kids throughout the class -- Anna came in one day and demonstrated one-armed push-ups!! She is really determined to be and do the very best that she can."

Mike and Erin Weiss say, "We are very proud of our daughter and the great strides she has made. In her year at the studio she has become more confident, self-disciplined and more aware of others and their feelings all while having fun! We couldn't ask for more!"

Students of the Month are selected based on a variety of criteria, including: class participation, discipline, enthusiasm, listening skills, technique, attitude, behavior and how well they exemplify "Black Belt Excellence and Attitude" in ALL areas of their lives, in and out of the studio.  

Students of the Month receive a special patch for their uniform and a 3-D Certificate, suitable for framing.

On Bullies

Tyler Clementi, 18, Rutgers University; jumped to his death from the George Washington bridge … Larry Weinberg, 17, of Trenton, NJ hung himself with a leather belt … Jessica Logan, 18, Sycamore High School student asphyxiated herself … Jessica Train, 15, a pupil at Monkseaton High School in North Tyneside, Wallsend, England hanged herself … Phoebe Prince, a 15-year-old South Hadley High School student hanged herself ... Hope Witsell, 13, a student at Beth Shields Middle School in Ruskin, FL, hanged herself from her bunk bed … 14 year old Samantha Kelly of New Boston, Michigan and a student at Huron High School in southwest Detroit, hanged herself … Jamarcus Bell, 14, a freshman at Hamilton Southeastern High School, Fishers, IN took his own life … Asher Brown, 13, of Cypress, TX and a student at Hamilton Middle school in Houston shot himself with his father's handgun.

All of these kids were bullied by their peers, or subjected to harassment at the hands of classmates. All are dead as a result of this treatment. Unfortunately, they are just a few of the hundreds that have taken their own lives in recent years. Boys and girls alike are equally bullied.

Make no mistake: It is not a rite of passage. 

It is not "kids being kids."

And it is leading to tragedy in numbers greater than ever before. We cannot and should not expect kids to “just suck it up.” 

When speaking with school children about bullies and bullying, and how the study of Martial Arts contains specific benefits not found elsewhere, I use a personal story to illustrate my point.

My story.  

Upon graduating high school -- where I, like the kids above, had been tormented mercilessly -- I thought I had finally left my problems behind me. I thought I was free. 

That turned out not to be the case. 

My father had secured a job for me in the garage of a local trucking company run by one of his friends. It was my first real job, and one of my responsibilities was to fuel the big trucks as they came in to the lot. Late one afternoon a driver, agitated from some problem that occurred on the road, decided to vent his anger on the nearest available person … me. I do not recall the exact details of the argument that followed, but I do remember vividly that as the exchange became heated he hit me – a solid open-handed blow across the side of my head that sent me reeling. I also remember the rage that came over me, brought about by years of similar treatment in school. I was overcome by tears of frustration. But this was a trucking company, where “Real Men” don’t cry; and he laughed. 

That was all it took.

I blindly hit back. At the time it didn’t register that I had probably made a huge mistake, since – like many bullies -- he was substantially larger. Fists flew from both sides and it took several of the other workers to separate us and finally remove me to the front parking lot … more for my safety than his. 

My head spun as much from the sudden flood of memories as from the trucker’s slap. It was as if I was back in school. I could not live like this any longer. If I didn’t do something – now – I was condemning myself to being a lifelong victim. Within half an hour I was on the phone with the only Martial Arts studio near where I lived. I made an appointment that would change my life.

Upon meeting the man who was to become my instructor, I was intimidated. A stern taskmaster, he possessed all the charm and demeanor of a drill sergeant. I nearly walked out the building, not recognizing much difference between his actions and the actions of those who had tormented me. Yet, as I watched the class, I was riveted. I was determined to join. 

I wanted revenge; I wanted to be tougher. And I knew -- I knew -- this was the way to achieve it. I made my decision and enrolled.

The training was harsh – the toughest thing I had ever done in my life – sometimes even brutal. Today most Martial Arts studios are well-lit, air-conditioned, carpeted affairs and family-friendly. This studio and this specific instructor, however, were decidedly “old school.” The bare wooden floors had no padding; there was no ventilation, and it smelled like the stale sweat of ages of rigorous training sessions. The instructor's overriding philosophy basically boiled down to this: “Punish the body to strengthen the heart and the mind.” The regimen was intense and grueling, the pace insane. More often than not I would arrive home with my body a mass of bruises and swollen parts. My mother took one look at me and asked, “You actually pay someone to do this to you?” My only answer was, “I have to.”

One exceptionally hot summer day early in my training, the sensei closed all of the windows and turned on the heat. It was the middle of August, and outside the streets of our small town baked in the heat. He pushed us to our body’s very limits, drilling us mercilessly in basic kicks, punches, and blocks. People began to drop. One became sick. Several others, who could go no further, sat on a bench reserved for spectators. With no air conditioning or fan to cool us, the temperature was in the high eighties when we started, but must have soared to 110 degrees in the training room. Cruel? Maybe. Unhealthy? Most definitely. Unthinkable in this more warm and fuzzy era? Absolutely. One didn’t pay much attention to the possibility of dehydration or heat stroke in those days. Yet such severe training forged my will and my discipline like steel. Through the sweat, sore muscles, aches, pain and blood I grew stronger. 

I was building my arsenal. Remember that phrase; it will be important soon.

A year or two later I performed in a Fourth of July karate demonstration at Tunkhannock Area High School, the very scene of much of my torment. By sheer coincidence, sitting in the audience  was the trucker whose slap had been the catalyst that sent me on this path. I had since moved on from the job at the trucking company and, though I never really forgot about him I went on with my life, putting my thoughts of revenge into a dusty corner of my mind.

It was a bright day; hot and full of sunshine. During my part of the demonstration I was scheduled to break several cinder slabs with kicks and punches. The segment culminated with me using my head to shatter two that were stacked one atop the other. Head breaks are always crowd pleasers when they work (and comically gruesome when they don’t) and that one went off exactly as planned. The audience loved it and I thought nothing further of it, until days later when I engaged in conversation with a woman who had a mutual friendship with the aforementioned truck driver and me. She let me know that she had been speaking with him and asked if, having seen my performance, he would want to slap me now. He emphatically said “No.” 

At that moment I realized that I had changed, that I was no longer the kind of person who would be a victim to anyone. To this day, I don’t think that trucker knows or understands how large a compliment he paid me; for without throwing a single punch or kick at him, without resorting to violence of any kind, I had, in a fashion, earned his respect. 

The point is: It was not breaking the cinder slabs that made the difference in his thinking; it was my change in attitude, my perception of who and what I was. I had grown stronger mentally as well as physically, and it showed in the way I walked and carried myself. My head was held high, my shoulders squared. CHARACTER – who you are -- I tell the children in my seminars, is the essence of the Martial Arts, and it makes all of the difference in the world. It was the key weapon in the arsenal I mentioned previously. The arsenal, I discovered, was filled with as many mental weapons as physical.

Bullying is an epidemic in this country, and indeed, the world. It is, however, too often a "silent epidemic" as many kids are reluctant to speak with parents or school officials; this may be due to shame, embarrassment, having been threatened, or fear of being seen as a squealer.  

There is an alternative to taking one’s own life; there is a pathway out of the darkness. While Martial Arts were my chosen path, I respect that may not be the way for everyone. Every child is unique, and for every child there is a unique answer. Through education, kids who are bullied must be made aware that there is hope. 

Before we can find the answers we must ask the right questions of our children. We must step up and accept responsibility for our kids, even during the times they claim not to want our help. As parents, educators, authority figures we must open our eyes to the problem and take away some of its power by shining a light on it. We must get involved. 

Scattering the shadows, real or perceived, means that the abuse is no longer suffered in secrecy.

(This article first appeared in a slightly altered form in the November 2010 edition of the “A Mindful Journey” blog. Copyright, November 20, 2010 by Gary R. Barnes. All rights reserved.)